Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich?
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
Somewhere in America, a woman has a baby every 47 minutes. We`ve got to find this woman and stop her!
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
All I want for Christmas is for these calories to not count.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.