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I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
At what point does the dentist stop giving you toothbrushes? Dude, Iām forty. I have one.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
I`m glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn`t do the whole dictionary
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I think I have 10 inches of Global Warming on my driveway.
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
That moment when being uncool, is cool