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Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
Talk is cheap, until you hire a lawyer.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
If I`m guilty of anything, it`s loving too much. And several outstanding speeding tickets. But mostly loving too much.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.