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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
I prefer to be crazy and happy rather than normal and bitter......
How many different animals did we have to jump on the backs of before we discovered horses were cool with it?
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Does anyone have like twenty thousand dollars they don’t want? Asking for myself.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit