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I`ll never have a kid as cool as the one my parents did…
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
My friends most commonly describe me as "who?"
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag.
I don`t understand why people have to "get ready" for bed....I`m always ready for bed.
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
I forgot to post this earlier
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
I wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.