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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
It’s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
I may be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Yes... I repost. Isn`t that kinda the point? Spread the love and shit? Mostly shit... But that`s your fault...
When you`re a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you`re an adult, they`re considered immature.
I need to stop lying to myself ... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
Chuck E Cheese: Because it`s never too early to introduce your children to gambling and bad nutrition.