Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
My favorite moment is the 5 minutes every day when coffee overlaps with wine.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
Iām not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
If it`s alcoholic anonymous. Why do the members stand up an in-troduce them selves?
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.