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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
Well, if you count Elmer Fudd singing "Kill the Wabbit" then yes, I do like opera.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
Relationships are like yard sales. They look good from a distance, but once you get there it`s just a bunch of sh!t you don`t really need.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.