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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
If you`re having second thoughts, you`re 2 ahead of most people.
Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
Hangman was my favorite childhood learning game that promoted hanging someone for a wrong answer.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone`s yelling, everything`s sticky, it`s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes somewhere they
Some life lessons are so profound; you only need to do them one time. Putting Icy Hot on my balls, for example …