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Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
Keep reaching for the stars but get a better deodorant.
There could be literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don`t even know it.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"