Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`. I`ll definitely turn around and look.
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
I hate when my mom tells people I`m 503 months old.
I read an article the other day that said, "if you drink every day you are an alcoholic." Thank god I only drink at night.
I`ll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn`t go all the way.
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
I`m 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
3 bottles of bleach: $15.00. One rope, 3 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $35.00. 3 boxes of trash bags: $10.00. The look on the cashier`s face: Priceless!:D
BREAKING NEWS: Will Smith sends Miley Cyrus to live with auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.