Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Even if I’m mad at my wife I should be mature enough not to flush the toilet on purpose while she’s in the shower, but it turns out I’m not.
Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
My 6 yo just chugged a bottle of water in 30 seconds. Now I`m fearful of her college days.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
Girls are like parking spots all the good ones are taken and the rest are to far away
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
A book fell on my head, I can only blame my shelf.