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Wrapping these baby carrots in Tootsie Roll wrappers is exhausting but the payoff will be worth it come Halloween.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Got into a vicious battle with quite possibly the World`s Largest Spider. The outcome? Well, I`m updating my Facebook status this morning.... He isn`t.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
"Let the chips fall where they may." -My kids when they`re eating chips on the couch.
I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can`t even afford a washer or a dryer
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at some`s house, I always take a piece home with me.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
My number was 0...