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French people give me the crepes.
You never know a person until you walk in their shoes... or until you check their browser history.
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg.
I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
The kids left w/my parents for a week. I plan to run around the house for an hour yelling "woo hoo", but after that my schedule is wide open
Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you refuse to go out on a date with someone just because she has one?
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
-buys lottery ticket -fantasizes about winning the lottery -smiles -loses lottery -resumes general hatred for life
I would of read and liked your status if it wasn`t like 3 pages long.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."