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I`m going to buy a new dictionary. After watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don`t understand the meaning of Final.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
The awkward moment when you’ve already said “what?” three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.
"My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I`m not coming in" - No guy, ever.
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.