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That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! – no one ever
People who are offended by offensive things offend me.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
Good thing Jan Brady`s older sister wasn`t named Beetlejuice
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing