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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it β€œtomorrow” until I wake up.
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
The police never think its as funny as I do.
The best occupation to work from home as: Bartender.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
Mosquito`s and parking inspectors must be from the same family...