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"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
There was a sense of accomplishment finishing the daily newspaper. I literally have no idea when I`m supposed to stop reading the internet.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Iām late for a disappointment.
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he`s attempting to get his hoodie back. He`s in for one hell of a life lesson.
Netflix is a lot like facebook in the way I just waste time scrolling and scoffing at things.
Some of us are basically unpaid Facebook interns.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.