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Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
I have nothing!