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You can never read a doctor`s prescription, but you can sure read his bill
The reason i connot lie is because i like big butts.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
facebooked yo mama!!!
"Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I`m not angry or covered in piss.
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?