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Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
Finding friends with the same mental disorder as you ... Priceless
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
When asked `What would you bring with you to a deserted island`, how come no one ever replies, `A boat.`?
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.