Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone’s status.
Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
Step One: Always have a solid alibi.
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
Don`t come to my door wanting to talk about the Lord. I don`t come to your door wanting to talk about wine and vibrators, do I?
Keep it down kids!.. Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
I bought a book on eBay called, "How to scam on eBay". That was 2 months ago, and it`s not arrived yet
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."