Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
Survival rule #1: You go first.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
Golf ball sized hail wouldn`t be as destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
To a cop, doing donuts in a parking lot has a whole different meaning.
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.