Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
Turns out fantasy football is nothing like I thought it would be. Anyone interested in a naughty quarterback outfit? Serious inquiries only.
The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
No matter how much you push the envelope - it`ll still be stationery.
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
Turns out, I`m not an afternoon person either...
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.