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Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
I`m 28 years old, but in marriage years, I`m dead on the inside.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....
My newsfeed looks like a cross between a Civil War Soldier and ZZ Top photo album.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!