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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?
Sometimes, if you believe in something hard enough and deeply enough, nothing happens.
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
That microwavable meal was delicious and filling! - no one ever
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it`s strapped to the top of someone`s car.
Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess.
There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
I´m really bored but too lazy to do anything about it.
I wish I had Dora`s mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.
I like to walk by a chick in slow motion so she thinks i`m the one