Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
2003: Fear that ppl from the internet will find me in real life. 2013: Fear that ppl from real life will find me on the internet.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
All I’ve ever wanted from life was to be a disturbance in the force.
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
The fact that Google autocompletes all of my questions just reaffirms how unoriginal all my problems are.
Condoms prevent minivans.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.