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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever`s bugging you.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, you know you have small boobs
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
Pretty soon you`ll be able to get married online, instead of saying "I do" you will have to click "I agree to these terms and conditions."
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
I`m sorry I slapped you but you didn`t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
Constantly losing socks in the laundry but finding change. So logically there has to be a sock fairy.
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories