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To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
I may not be the richest guy...or the smartest guy...or the funniest guy...or the best-looking guy...or the .....:( Forget it, now I`m depressed.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.