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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
*Gets absolutely nothing done*… Welp time for a break.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
This pill bottle says `Take with plenty of fluids` and `Don`t take with alcohol`. That doesn`t even make sense
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
I`m not perfect, but I`m the best me there is or ever will be.
Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I’m married to her and I don’t even have a chance.
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.
No one on Earth has a higher tolerance to cold temperatures than someone who wants to smoke a cigarette.