Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There’s a special place in Hell for people who call to see if you got their email!
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes!
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
It is impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.