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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn`t at work anymore.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
Don`t forget, If anyone asks we are a normal family.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.
I hate it when people exaggerate my mistakes and make it seem like I’ve commited a crime.
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?