Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
The only dates I get are updates.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit? Asking for a friend.
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn’t hear me call shotgun.
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
There are no words to describe how I feel about you... Good thing God invented the middle finger.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.