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The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
it`s friday o clock
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I’m sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.