Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn`t even eat them.
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
I wonder what it feels like to be wrong.
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Everything just seems much better when you`re in denial
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
Be good ... or I will text Santa
Jealous women do better research then the FBI. True story.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.