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Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
After visiting the gov`t healthcare site, I don`t know why I was so worried about their ability to spy on me...
When I`m bored I like to dress in a grim reaper costume and stand across the street from the nursing home and wave at the old folks.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
Iām late for a disappointment.
I know they didn`t ask for it, but I sent a stool sample in with my tax returns.
Shout out to sidewalks. Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
The guy blaring the self help CD at the red light in the rusted car with no bumpers wasn`t amused when I said, "I don`t think it`s working"
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
I just saved a lot of money in child support by switching to condoms!
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
I`m sleeping in tell Friday so ... Happy Tuesday.