Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Anyone else ever thought about farting into one of those plastic cylinders at the bank drive-thru?
I`m so scattered I don`t know whether I found this rope or lost my horse.
LSD makes users lose weight` That makes sense, it`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.
I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else’s.
They said I couldn`t drink or operate machinery on my medication. But here I am…Driving a forklift…Sipping a beer…Lifting up my boss`s car…
Who needs Halloween decorations when I can just put up my selfies?
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.