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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
Always be yourself, unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
What an intoxicated Schwarzenegger might say to a police officer: "I`m an IDIOT you COP!"
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.