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79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!