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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I’ve learned to use meditation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!