Daily Silly Status

There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life`s face to find she has deflated in the night.

I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.

I’m at Code 5 today. I don’t know. It’s something this lady in the coffee shop said and I liked it. So now I’m using it, too.

I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.

What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.

I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine

There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.

Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?

Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.

Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable

Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.

A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.

Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.

?"May contain nudity".. either it does or it doesn`t.. quit waistin` my time.

Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.