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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I`ll play mine
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Holy crap! I just realized that I´m still it from a game of tag in 1987.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
Sorry I didn`t answer when you called, I had 6 Peeps in my mouth
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops