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The only way you can be right in an argument with a woman is by admitting you`re wrong.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I always win at chess ... by hitting my opponent with a brick.
My wife can suffer in silence louder than anyone I know.