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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
My bank balance is a constant reminder that I`m safe from identity theft
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
You know you can`t say "happiness" without saying "p*nis"
Hitting the lotto is a sure way to stop hating on Mondays...
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.