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When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
Thank you Lord for this delicious meal we are about to Instagram.
“Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
I don`t have a drinking problem ... I`m just really thirsty.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
Gotta admire people who drive with one hand holding on to a mattress tied to the roof.
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
Thank god that racist basketball guy showed up or we`d still be talking about how we`re not finding that airplane.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
Welcome to fight club..., you may now kiss the bride.