Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
Facebook made billions by saying “Hey, remember that kid you haven’t seen since the third grade? He’s a parent who hates Obama now.”
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
“The darndest things.” -kids
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep