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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
I`m so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign And before that ... we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that sh!t.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
So many Jehovah`s Witnesses and yet still not a shred of Jehovah`s Evidence.
Twinkle twinkle little star, I want to hit you with my car.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.