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If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
The most important part of being on a gluten free diet is telling everyone about it.
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Happy Fourth of July!! Or as the rest of the world likes to call it, Friday.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.
every woman iz beautuful n her unique way, smtimz it needs sm amount of alcohol to see with