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Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
Divorce is expensive because its worth it.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Global warming is now thought to be a leading cause of documentaries.
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
gua suka sama kamu