Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
In post apocalyptic movies everyone wears leather ... but there are no cows.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
Wanna ruin a girl’s day? Respond to her next text with “Who is this?”
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...