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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
If you bend over and place your ear next to a girls vagina , you can clearly hear her say "WTF are you Doing!"
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
There may be two sides to every story, but you’re still a douche in both of them.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
Every Girls Night Out has at least one crier.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it`s none of my damn business.
I don`t get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.