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Sometimes, late at night in WalMart, I switch up all the color tubes in the hair dye kits.
Sometimes I feel like giving up...Then I remember I have a lot of motherf*ckers to prove wrong
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
All milk is breast milk.
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
"There`s a sleeping person. Let`s go ask it questions." – Children
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.