Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing says you`re ugly like Facebook asking, "are you sure you want to make this your profile picture ?"
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
"Everybody freeze!" -December
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
bras are booby-traps
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
I quit my job with the Dept of Corrections. That place was like a prison...
I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.
St Patricks Day, when you can eat lucky charms dowsed in beer and everyone thinks..great idea!
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.