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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
Very excited to announce I`m on the market and actively looking for someone new to make me miserable
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
HANGOVER!!!!! it`s God`s way of sayin "u kicked a$$ last night"
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
PMS = Prepare to Meet Satan.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
Hash browns not tags.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.