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Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
The older I get .... The more dangerous it is to sneeze
No, I didn`t accidentally pocket dial you, I wanted you to hear me eat lunch.
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
So I ran into an old girlfriend who I dated who`s new boyfriend she was with looked exactly like me when I was seeing her. You know, miserable
I accidentally had two energy drinks today and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
It`s kind of creepy that you noticed me staring at you.