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Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Women need a tattoo that somehow signals their menstrual cycle ... * A Cramp Stamp
Does any one know how to lower the difficulty settings on tinder?
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Hey Guys! I havent seen you since last year!(;
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.