Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
I wish, just once, I could actually hit the pedestrian crossing the road slow with the "what`re gonna do, hit me" look on their face.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
Wow, I haven`t seen you since the last time I wish I hadn`t seen you
There should be an "oh my god, shut up already" button.
Just took the batteries out of my smoke detector to use in my TV remote control. Dont judge me .. It´s Sunday.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks