Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"My phone`s about to die." -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call
I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick: My girlfriend.
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
A walk in the woods helps me relax and release tension. The fact that I am dragging a body should be entirely irrelevant.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
A guy outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I told him, I feel like it would take longer than that
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long