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A plus side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and I won’t judge you because I too will be in my pajamas.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought regular donuts.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast.
I always wrap someone`s fist bump with my high five because paper beats rock.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
If a mass murderer on death row ordered a Klondike Bar for his last meal I bet it would explain a lot.
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1