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The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
How do you people have the time to hate a stranger on the internet?
Of course you don’t think you’re ignorant! That’s the definition of ignorance!
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator
Question everything...Or should you?
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.