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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
I saw this homeless guy talking to himself and I was like, "Who is he talking to?" then I thought "Who am I talking to?"
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!
The wife has been missing a week now, police said to prepare for the worst, so I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.