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Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
Relationships are like yard sales. They look good from a distance, but once you get there it`s just a bunch of sh!t you don`t really need.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
I can`t wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
These statuses are a lot better if you imagine them being read by Morgan Freeman.