Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
The key to any successful marriage is separate TVs.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
"Mary had a little lamb. That`s had." - the wolf
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
Shout out to the guy behind me flashing red & blue lights.
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
Iām tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
Wow, that Macy`s parade is crazy! The Kanye West float just cut off Snoopy and said Woodstock can fly better!
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.