Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
I don’t just say crazy things on the internet, I do that in real life too.
What`s the right age to stop running naked from the bedroom to the bathroom?
Just joined the support group Hokey Pokey Anonymous ... A place to turn yourself around. ;)
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
Sometimes I go on Google Earth and just spin the sh!t out of the world & pretend I`m making everyone really dizzy.
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
Everyone, please... a moment of silence for all my married friends who have a shared Facebook account.
My psychiatrist told me I need to love myself more. I was like, "damn doc I`m already up to 3 times a day"
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Oh, honey, you have gone beyond muffin top. That`s a busted can of biscuits!