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There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
off to bed...evil schemes don`t dream themselves up.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
I wish my bank account refilled as fast as my laundry basket.
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car is having to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.